What’s Taking Up Space in My Head?

Sometimes life doesn’t look particularly busy from the outside, and yet our minds feel completely full.

We might be sitting with a cup of tea, driving somewhere familiar, making dinner or finally getting into bed at the end of the day, but somewhere in the background our brain is still working.

I need to remember that appointment. I must reply to that message. We’re nearly out of something. I need to organise that form. I still haven’t made a decision about next week. I wonder how she’s getting on. I need to check that date. What are we having for dinner tomorrow? I really should deal with that thing I’ve been putting off.

And underneath all those ordinary reminders there may be bigger things too: a conversation we’re replaying, somebody we’re worried about, a decision we haven’t made, something happening within our family or work, or a problem that isn’t even ours but that we’ve somehow begun carrying anyway.

None of these things necessarily appears on a calendar.

But they take up space.

And sometimes what makes life feel overwhelming isn’t only how much we’re physically doing. It’s how much we’re trying to remember, anticipate, decide, solve and carry at the same time.

So for this fourth reflection in The Life I’m Living Collection, we’re going to look at something we can’t necessarily see.

What’s taking up space in my head?

The Work Nobody Can See

There is an enormous amount of invisible work involved in keeping an ordinary life moving.

It isn’t simply buying the groceries. It’s noticing that we’re running low on something, remembering which day we’ll be near the shop, thinking about what we’ll need for the week and perhaps remembering that somebody has suddenly decided they no longer eat the thing you’ve bought every week for the past six months.

It’s not simply attending an appointment. It’s remembering to make it, finding a time that works, putting it in the calendar, remembering whatever needs to be brought, arranging everything else around it and making sure it actually happens.

It’s knowing that a birthday is coming up, that somebody needs new shoes, that a prescription needs collecting, that the dog needs something, that there’s a school or work deadline next week, that you promised to contact someone and that there’s something in the fridge that really needs to be used today.

Individually, most of these things are tiny.

Together, they can become an extraordinary amount to hold.

And because much of this work happens inside our heads, even we can underestimate how much of it we’re doing.

We look at the things we’ve physically accomplished and wonder why we’re tired or distracted.

Perhaps part of the answer is everything we’ve been doing that nobody — including us — can see.

It’s Not Just Remembering. It’s Anticipating.

Mental load isn’t simply a very long to-do list.

There is also the constant anticipation involved in everyday life.

What will we need? What might go wrong? Who needs to be where? What needs to happen first? If I do this on Wednesday, will I still have time for that on Thursday? Has everyone got what they need? Do I need to remind somebody? What happens if that doesn’t work out?

We can be several steps ahead of the moment we’re actually living in.

Sometimes that’s useful. Being able to anticipate, organise and notice what needs doing is part of what makes life run smoothly.

But there is a cost when our brains are always several steps ahead.

We can find ourselves eating Monday’s breakfast while mentally organising Thursday afternoon.

And perhaps we become so accustomed to doing it that we don’t even realise how rarely our minds are simply where we are.

Then There Are All the Decisions

I think we underestimate how tiring it is to make decisions all day.

Many of them are completely unremarkable.

What needs doing first? What can wait? What should we eat? Should I reply now or later? Do I need to buy that? When can I fit this in? Should I say yes? Do we have time? Is that important? Does somebody need me to step in here, or should I leave it alone?

Work can add hundreds more. Family life adds more again. Running a home brings its own steady stream.

Very few of these decisions are particularly difficult in isolation.

But the sheer number of them can be exhausting.

By evening, somebody asking What do you want for dinner? can feel like an almost unreasonable demand — not because deciding between pasta and something from the freezer is genuinely difficult, but because perhaps we’ve already made more decisions than we realise.

Sometimes we don’t need to become better at making decisions.

We may simply need fewer things requiring a decision from us.

The Things We Haven’t Finished Take Up Space Too

There are also all the open loops.

The email we haven’t answered. The appointment we haven’t booked. The form sitting on the counter. The cupboard we’ve been meaning to sort. The return that needs to go back. The small job we keep forgetting until precisely the moment when we can’t do anything about it.

Often, the task itself isn’t particularly demanding.

It’s carrying it that becomes tiring.

Every time it returns to our thoughts, our brain has to encounter it again.

Don’t forget that.

And then we do forget it.

Until it pops back up tomorrow.

Sometimes completing one very small thing can create a disproportionate sense of relief, not because the task was terribly important, but because we no longer have to remember it.

Other times, simply writing it somewhere reliable is enough.

Our brains don’t necessarily need everything finished immediately.

But perhaps they do need reassurance that they aren’t solely responsible for remembering absolutely everything.

We Carry Things That Aren’t Tasks at All

Some of the heaviest things in our heads will never appear on a to-do list.

We worry about people.

We notice when somebody doesn’t seem quite themselves. We think about a conversation we had yesterday. We wonder whether we said the right thing. We anticipate difficult situations. We worry about our children, partners, parents, friends or colleagues.

Sometimes we carry somebody else’s sadness long after we’ve left them.

Sometimes we feel responsible for solving things that aren’t ours to solve.

That sensitivity can be a lovely part of who we are. Caring deeply about other people isn’t something we need to cure ourselves of.

But caring about somebody and carrying everything for them are not always the same thing.

We can love someone without being able to fix what is happening to them. We can listen without finding an answer. We can support somebody without taking complete responsibility for how they feel.

And sometimes we may need to remind ourselves of that.

Not because we care less.

Because there are limits to what one person can hold.

There May Be Things We Keep Picking Back Up

Then there are the thoughts that have nowhere particular to go.

The conversation that is already over.

The comment somebody made.

The decision we’ve already made but keep revisiting.

The thing we wish we’d handled differently.

The possible future problem we’re trying to solve before it exists.

We can spend enormous amounts of mental energy returning to the same place without discovering anything new there.

Of course, we can’t simply instruct ourselves to stop thinking about something and expect our minds to obediently comply.

But perhaps we can notice when we’re doing it.

I’m back here again. Is there anything new for me to do with this?

If there is, perhaps that’s useful.

Maybe we need to make the call, have the conversation, apologise, ask the question or make the decision.

But sometimes there is nothing new to do.

We’re simply carrying the same thought around again.

And perhaps, for today at least, we can put it down.

What Actually Belongs to Me?

This may be one of the more difficult questions in this reflection.

Because when we’re used to being the person who notices, organises, remembers or helps, it can become surprisingly difficult to distinguish between what is genuinely ours to carry and what we’ve simply become accustomed to carrying.

Are there things somebody else could remember for themselves?

Problems we’re repeatedly trying to solve for another adult?

Responsibilities we’ve taken on because it’s easier to do them ourselves?

Other people’s moods we’re constantly monitoring?

Things we feel guilty about even though they’re outside our control?

This doesn’t mean suddenly announcing that nothing is our responsibility anymore.

Nor is it about keeping score within families or relationships.

It’s simply about noticing.

Because sometimes the smallest shift isn’t doing less at all.

It’s allowing ourselves to stop mentally supervising everything.

Getting It Out of Your Head

One of the simplest things we can do with mental load is make some of it visible.

Not organise it beautifully.

Not colour-code it.

Not turn it into a new system that requires maintaining.

Just get it out.

There is something incredibly useful about putting all the little pieces somewhere outside ourselves.

The appointment. The thing to buy. The email. The worry. The unfinished job. The decision. The person we’re thinking about. The conversation we need to have. The thing we can’t do anything about yet.

Once it’s on paper, we can see what we’re actually carrying.

And sometimes the first surprise is simply the amount of it.

No wonder my head feels full.

That recognition alone can feel reassuring.

Then we can begin looking at the individual pieces and asking what each one actually needs.

Some need action.

Some need to be remembered later.

Some need a decision.

Some belong to somebody else.

Some are worries we cannot resolve today.

And some perhaps don’t need anything from us anymore.

What’s Taking Up Space in My Head? — Your Free Reflection Printable

I’ve created a slightly different printable for this fourth reflection.

This one is deliberately more like a gentle brain dump.

There are spaces for the different kinds of things we tend to carry:

Things I Need to Remember — dates, appointments, messages, things to buy or organise.

Things I Need to Do — small jobs, admin, unfinished tasks and things I’ve been putting off.

Decisions I’m Carrying — the things I keep turning over without quite deciding.

Things I’m Worried About — whatever keeps returning to my thoughts.

Other People’s Things — problems, moods or responsibilities I may have gradually started carrying as my own.

There is no need to fill every section.

There is no right number of things to write down.

The purpose is simply to take some of what’s floating around in your head and put it somewhere you can actually see it.

And Then Ask: What Can I Put Down?

Once everything is in front of you, resist the urge to immediately create an enormous action plan from it.

We’re not turning a full head into a full to-do list.

Instead, look at what you’ve written and ask a few gentler questions.

What can I actually do something about? What can I write down somewhere reliable and return to later? What belongs to somebody else? What am I trying to solve before I have enough information? What am I worrying about that I cannot influence today?

And perhaps most importantly:

What can I put down, at least for now?

Putting something down doesn’t necessarily mean it no longer matters.

You can care about something without thinking about it every minute.

You can have something to do next week without carrying it around all weekend.

You can love someone without solving every problem for them.

You can have an unanswered question and allow it to remain unanswered for a while.

Sometimes putting something down simply means deciding:

I don’t need to carry this right now.

A Quieter Head Doesn’t Require a Perfectly Organised Life

I don’t think any of us are going to reach a point where our minds are beautifully empty and nothing needs remembering.

Life keeps happening.

There will always be appointments, decisions, people we care about, unfinished jobs, things we need to organise and moments when our minds feel much fuller than we’d like.

The aim isn’t to become so wonderfully organised that we never feel mentally overloaded again.

It’s to become a little more aware of what we’re carrying.

Perhaps to write more of it down.

Perhaps to share some of it.

Perhaps to stop assuming that every problem belongs to us.

Perhaps to make one decision we’ve been avoiding, finish one tiny task that’s been following us around or recognise that something cannot be resolved today.

Small adjustments.

Nothing dramatic.

But sometimes creating a little more space in our lives begins by creating a little more space in our heads.

Not by solving everything.

Just by recognising that we were never meant to hold everything at once.

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Continue Reflecting

Previous: Where Does My Energy Go?

Notice what takes your energy, what gives something back and where you might want to spend a little less — or a little more — of yourself.

Next: What Do I Need More of Right Now?

In the next reflection, we’ll move away from what is taking from us and begin asking a deceptively simple question: what might make this season of life feel a little better?

Explore The Life I’m Living Collection

The Life I’m Living is a collection of thoughtful reflections and free printables designed to help you slow down, take stock of where you are and make small, meaningful adjustments to the life you’re already living.

Chat soon,

Ciara x

Printable FAQs

Is this printable free?

Yes. All of the reflection pages in The Life I’m Living Collection are free to download for personal use. You can print just the pages that speak to you, or work your way through the complete collection over time.

What size are the printables?

The printables are designed primarily for A4 paper, which is the standard paper size used in Ireland, the UK and many other countries. If you’re printing on US Letter paper, select Fit to Page or your printer’s equivalent setting and the design should resize neatly to fit.

Occasionally, a reflection may work better in landscape format. Where this is the case, it will be clearly indicated on the individual printable.

Do I need to complete the collection in order?

Not at all. The Life I’m Living Collection has been thoughtfully arranged so that the reflections can naturally lead from one to another, but there is no right way to use it.

You can begin with the question that feels most relevant to you today, move through the collection in order, or simply return to individual pages whenever you need them.

Do I need to answer every question?

No. These pages are invitations rather than assignments.

Some prompts may immediately give you something to write about, while others may not feel particularly relevant to the season of life you’re in. Write a sentence, fill a page, leave something blank or come back to it another day.

There is nothing to complete and no score to achieve.

Can I use the printables as journal prompts instead?

Absolutely. You don’t have to write directly onto the printable. You can use any of the questions or prompts as starting points for longer reflections in your own notebook or journal.

You might also find that one small question gives you far more to think about than the space provided on the page. Follow it wherever it takes you.

Can I print the pages more than once?

Yes. For your own personal use, you can print the pages again whenever you’d like to revisit a reflection.

In fact, returning to some of these questions six months or a year from now could be particularly interesting. Our answers change as our lives do.

Can I put all of the printables together in a binder?

Yes — and the collection has been deliberately designed with that in mind.

Although the individual layouts vary depending on the reflection, the pages share the same cream, navy, antique-gold and blue-and-white visual style so that they form one cohesive journal when collected together.

🖨️ Create Your Binder

If you’re planning to print several of our printables in this collection, a few simple supplies can make it easy to create your own beautiful binder to enjoy year after year.

(This section contains affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting Our Little House in the Country.)

• 📗 A4 Display Book
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Can I share these printables with someone else?

You’re very welcome to share the link to the relevant blog post or collection page so that friends, family or your online community can download their own copy.

Please don’t upload, email, reproduce or redistribute the PDF files themselves.

Can I use these printables in a group, class or workshop?

The printables are created primarily for personal use. If you’d like to use one as part of a class, workshop, group or other organised setting, please contact me first so we can make sure it is being used appropriately and with full credit to Our Little House in the Country.

What are the terms of use?

All Our Little House in the Country printables are provided for personal use only unless specific permission has been given otherwise.

Please do not sell, reproduce, alter for resale, upload, distribute or include the printable files in your own digital or physical products. If you’d like to recommend a printable to someone else, please share the original page on Our Little House in the Country rather than the PDF itself.

You can read the complete Printables Terms of Use for further information.

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• What Do I Need More of Right Now?
  What would make the life you’re living right now feel a little better? This gentle reflection invites you to consider what you need more of — for your body, mind, heart and yourself — and to look beneath the first answer to what you may really be asking for. Includes a beautiful free reflection printable from The Life I’m Living Collection.
• What’s Taking Up Space in My Head?
  Sometimes what makes life feel overwhelming isn’t only how much we’re doing, but how much we’re trying to remember, anticipate, decide, solve and carry at the same time. This gentle reflection explores the invisible mental load of ordinary life and includes a beautiful free brain dump printable to help you put some of it down.
• Where Does My Energy Go?
  Where does your energy go — and is everything receiving it really worth the cost? This thoughtful reflection explores energy well spent, the things that restore us and the quiet energy leaks that can leave us depleted. Includes a beautiful free reflection printable from The Life I’m Living Collection.
• What Does My Life Actually Look Like Right Now?
  What does your life actually look like when you stop and look at an ordinary week? This gentle reflection explores what fills your time, what feels meaningful, what gets squeezed out and whether the story you tell yourself about your life is really true. Includes a beautiful free A Week in My Life printable.
• Where I Am Now: A Gentle Life Check-In
  When did you last stop and ask yourself how you really are? This gentle life check-in is an invitation to slow down, notice what feels good, what feels difficult and what may be changing — without assuming anything needs to be fixed. Includes a beautiful free two-page reflection printable.